Niilo appreciates the letters and phone calls and says he remembers all the folks, times, and issues mentioned in these letters; some we ‘kids’ don’t know, though most we do.

  Afternoons and evenings are typically higher energy times than mornings, but Dad has been glad to eat almost all meals at the table in his wheelchair and spends less time in bed and the recliner than last week.  He takes interest in the newspaper and more often speaks in full sentences; sometimes a paragraph at a time.  Every few days he walks a yard or two or three with the walker.

  Just now, listening to Myllarit via headphones, Dad tapped his toes to the music, a polka piece I think.

  Heather

It is hard to write a blog when I am running all over. When I get home, I don’t always remember what happened, and sometimes I think Heather is probably going to write. But right now she’s probably eating supper with Mom, while Dad and Dot eat upstairs. Mom is confused about others taking care of Dad. Heather and I love them both much and try hard to balance each of their needs.

Dot is a new hired caregiver. I could see I needed the relief, because the flat in my trunk never seems to get to the repair shop, the pile of papers goes up and down but mostly up, the grumpy factor surfaced occasionally….Marilyn comes in 5 mornings a week now 8:30 to 10:30, so I don’t rush on over first thing after another sleepless night. Dot is 5 afternoons 2:30 to sometime past bedtime. So Chena here comes in the midday to love the family, vacuum, talk with Heather about garden plans & so much more.

Today Mom and I played Boggle, a word game, right next to Dad after lunch. He seemed fairly interested. When we were putting the game away, he took a pad of paper and a pencil and started trying to write. Oh guys, I tear up just thinking about how I watched him for about 10 minutes, repeatedly writing. He couldn’t quite form complete letters–to be egocentric about it, there was one page I saw him write “C,” then “H”, then tried so hard for an “E” but it kept going squiggly on him. He put that aside and tried something else. I was behind him, rubbing his back gently, crying my eyes out. It is so hard to watch.

So I thought he was trying for another way to communicate. I’m just not smart in this. I got out the books on Alzheimers, and one of them talked about other diseases which mimic or cause similar symptoms. But really I think he does have dementia and we don’t know everything to do except love him and keep him healthy, talk to him. I appreciate Diane (massage therapist) and so many others who help me. The best help is always my hub Gary.

People have been good about visiting. Sean and Ed came over this afternoon. I went grocery shopping during that, so don’t have much to report. Earlier Ron came and Dad was so interested. Laughed and talked mostly things we didn’t know what to say back. But we all talked about drainage and other issues with Dad anyway.

Yesterday others visited: Don R ran up the hill with his dog only to find Dad was in a different mode than talking. Jude and Jim came up earlier while Dad mostly slept. Jude and Jim and Mom reminisced about about old names like Sparky and Austin and Harry and others from the 1950s, 60’s and onward. Gotta say it was terrific for me, and I hope Dad got something out of it. The old homesteading days on the Ridge were one of a kind, and Jude and Jim were there.

Dad was fairly strong today, compared to some. He was interested in his mail and occasionally talked about things, gesticulated, laughed. He enjoyed Heather’s smoked Yukon salmon at lunch. Later, he re-read the Kalavala book Jim B. had brought him. I think we are all buoyed by visitors, writers, the community out there who is there for all of us.

–Chena

Dear Niilo and Joan,
I just wanted to get this written. Start out with thanks for the several years of wonderful times at the saunas on Sunday nights. I am afraid that those good times will be forgotten. I had some great Sundays there for a while, went to Quakers in the morning, played volleyball at Bauricks in the afternoon, and sauna at your house in the evening. Made a great balance. (Also sometimes went to sauna down the road at Kahlens) Had large number of naked friends. I believe Paulette Henderson was one of the best. I think I still have a picture of Nillo. The most interesting thing is not that he is nude and has a child on his lap, but that he has not a white hair (visible) on his head. We all get older.
During the saunas at Nillo’s I can remember Joan as being tall, beautiful, and dark. She was a lover of horses. I was in awe of her. She seemed so elite. We had some wonderful times at those saunas. (I even got some of my best models there!)
I don’t want the bad things that have happened since (to your family and myself) to interfere. I am NOT A WALKING JUNK YARD in spite of the rumors, even though I feel like an old used car sometimes, not sure which parts are the original I live on a hand-full of pills a day, but I am in great shape. Don(Irish Prince) Murphy (Glad you liked the flowers)

Niilo, as a thanks to you for all you’ve helped us stand for, I’d like to send along these lyrics of Tommy Sands, the great Northern Irish singer and peacemaker. If anyone deserves to have them dedicated to them it’s you.
I hope they bring some comfort to those of you who are spending these days with Niilo as well.

YOUR DAUGHTERS AND YOUR SONS.

They wouldn’t hear your music
And they pulled your paintings down
They wouldn’t read your writing
And they banned you from the town
But they couldn’t stop you dreaming
And the victory you have won
For you sowed the seeds of freedom
In your daughters and your sons

In your daughters and your sons
In your daughters and your sons
You sowed the seeds of freedom
In your daughters and your sons

Well your weary smile it proudly hides
The chain marks on your hands
As you bravely strive to realise
The rights of every man
And though your body’s bent and low
A victory you have won
For you sowed the seeds of justice
In your daughters and your sons

Well, I don’t know your religion
But one day I heard you pray
For a world where everyone can work
And children can play
And though you never got your share
Of the fruits that you have won
You sowed the seeds of equality
In your daughters and your sons

Well, they taunted you in Belfast
And they tortured you in Spain
And in that Warsaw ghetto
Where they tied you up in chains
In Vietnam and in Chili
Where they came with tanks and guns
It’s there you sowed the seeds of peace
In your daughters and your sons

And now your music’s playing
And the writings on the wall
And all the dreams you painted
Can be seen by one and all
And now you’ve got them thinking
And the future’s just begun
For you sowed the seeds of freedom
In your daughters and your sons

–Ken Burch, 2008/05/13 at 1:28 AM