Thanks Kotty, for your wishes. Tomorrow is a big day for Dad, as he gets a nursing type person coming in to check on him, a massage therapist, and something else I don’t remember now. This is in contrast to today, which was fairly low key. He sat in front of the window, fingering news magazines occasionally but mostly not seeming to be relating to the world. Mom and I played Boggle and Spite and Malice next to him (I think he taught us that card game almost forty years ago), made supper….and I thought of the aspects of help we can give to others.

When Mom was in recovery from her head injury for a couple of months or so in the spring of 1992 in Puyallup, Washington, help was there. John Culbertson came up from his home and young family in southern California to take a stint being family in rotation with Heather, Sanni, Chena, Mom’s sister Beryl from Vermont, friend Nancy from Maryland, Steve Porten, others…Mom was just learning to walk and talk (& scream and cry) and there was a lot we could do to assist her. She’s come a long way. She still needs help, but has grown more able to take care of herself.

Dad doesn’t seem to have as many future hopes. This is Alzheimer’s. It doesn’t seem like the more we do with him, the more we stimulate him, the more he will grow. He spent all his life helping others see new things, and now doesn’t want to look out the window.

Yes, we have help. Nancy Davidian came again this evening after supper to help Heather get Dad ready for bed or whatever else. I then left to join Gary at a movie, but I blew out of that after 45 minutes, thinking “this isn’t what life is all about. I only have so many minutes in a day, and I’ll be darned if I spend another one of them trying to enjoy this Hollywood fare.”

Sometimes I wish for more help as in someone to read to Dad, but then I wonder if I’m in my old “help Mom get better” mode. Even then, I think it was John Culbertson, who overlapped me in Puyallup, who said something to me like “cool out, relax.” Maybe I’m always agitating. So it’s hard to see Dad just sitting in a chair and then when I try to engage his mind, he’s not there. At least Heather can take his blood pressure and monitor his body. I can’t even seem to encourage him to walk very many steps.

Wish I had great news for all of you. I can say that Dad seems fairly healthy as far as basic body. The biggest help I think I was to him today was putting lotion on his arms and legs, massaging his back, and telling him how much I love him throughout the day. Heather read him from this web site. Sometimes that is a huge help to us: knowing you are there. Thanks again.

–Chena