Comment on Friends Meeting, poems, trees:
\nI\u2019ve always been restless. I was raised in an atheist household and when I showed up at Joan and Niilo\u2019s door I didn\u2019t envision anything more in life than whatever I saw at the moment. A self-contained world I carried around with me. Everything I did, everything that came my way I interpreted as of my own making or discovery.
\nI did have sense of wonder with the natural world that bordered on the supernatural. Sometimes when I was walking on a high lonely place, watched the light fade, felt the wind switch at sunset, I sensed the possibility of another world.
\nOn Sundays I occasionally attended the Friends Meeting in Niilo\u2019s front room. I was fascinated with people who spilled out their thoughts at evening sauna being so still at morning meeting. I liked it. And I attributed it to the same sense I felt when sitting on a rock at wind shift. These were simply older people sitting on their rock.
\nI read constantly. Woody Guthrie had plenty to say about social causes and the importance of working together, Quaker sort of ideals, an introduction to the idea of community. John Muir spoke of God in those high places. I liked the way he wrote, but I figured he was just a product of his times, seeing the same wondrous world I saw, but constricted by society to an explanation that paid due to the confines of organized religion.
\nMy father was a heavily shell shocked war vet and prisoner of war that knew it was a godless world. I had spent too many lonely hours with him to believe it was any different. So I brushed off the Friends meeting along with all the other religious contrivances of man.
\nAs an outgrowth of some of those meetings I occasionally took part in poetry readings. Something that bridged the gap between the free for all conversation of sauna and the silence of meeting. Most of the poetry I had heard up to that point seemed dull and academic. Niilo changed that for me. I remember him reading a poem he had written about chopping wood in cold weather, \u201cWHACK! Birch splits well at -30.\u201d
\nBob Betts sensed my fascination with plain speech and gave me a little book of Robert Service Poems – I Continued walking, looking, writing down my thoughts:<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t a comfortable night ( from Roadrunner 2007)<\/p>\n
I kept waking
\nBuilding up the fire
\nWondering where my dreams went
\nRunning out of wood
\nWandering around looking for more<\/p>\n
And despite all that
\nNever moving some little rocks and twigs
\nThat stuck me in the side
\nNo matter how I turned<\/p>\n
But I lay there
\nSometimes thinking, mostly cold
\nTill first dawn
\nWhen I drifted off
\nAnd had a little sleep<\/p>\n
Then woke
\nWith the sunlight coming on my face
\nTired enough
\nI lay there
\nFree from the soreness of rocks and twigs<\/p>\n
And mindful
\nOf nothing more than the sun
\nIt\u2019s light fractured by the grove of trees above
\nGiving only
\nAn indication of motion and time<\/p>\n
At some point I started asking Niilo about Quaker philosophy. Trying to bridge the gap between nature, community, moral obligation and the inner self. Niilo sent me enough literature to sink a battleship. Mixed in with references to trains, riverboats and Finland were many good thoughts. Solid ideas. I developed a belief in the Quaker Social Testimonies.
\nBy then, decades down the line I\u2019d managed to hit bottom a few times. And it seemed to me that there must be something more than just community and the wonder of nature, something that helped me out when I was down there on the floor. This was highly refuted by some friends. Well meaning and concerned with my sanity they corrected me when I said I had religious feelings, reminding me that it was spirituality, my wonder for it all. I wasn\u2019t so sure. Sometimes I just needed help.<\/p>\n
Prayer\t\t(from Roadrunner 2007)
\nContemplation
\nA long walk alone in mind<\/p>\n
Early morning
\nCup of coffee
\nFeeding the fire
\nBefore sun rise<\/p>\n
Sat silent
\nTalked silent
\nLooked out the door for the light of dawn<\/p>\n
Did someone hear me?
\nA thought that
\nCarried past the days work, and<\/p>\n
Returned over
\nMonths
\nYears
\nDecades<\/p>\n
And settled somewhere
\nBetween silence and memory
\nAs
\nBelief in something<\/p>\n
Anything<\/p>\n
No, not anything<\/p>\n
But that
\nWhich is more
\nThan alone in mind<\/p>\n
I remain restless, choose to walk rather than sit, slowing down only for the turn of wind at sunset or a shared cup of coffee with a friend. But I am convinced that the silent meeting I first saw at Niilo\u2019s house has had an effect on me, as have his many thoughts on the matter. Even if I can only sit alone in the physical sense, it seems that I am not alone in faith.<\/p>\n
Wind\t (from Roadrunner 2007)
\nSun
\nStars at night<\/p>\n
Hot
\nCold
\nSnow<\/p>\n
Ridgeline
\nPinion Pine
\nHolds back
\nMy urge to go<\/p>\n
Hours pass
\nShadows track
\nMove from shade to sun<\/p>\n
Gather wood
\nSet up Camp
\nWatch the day be done<\/p>\n
Deep sleep
\nWake at dawn
\nAnd a prayer
\nUnfolds<\/p>\n
Listening
\nWith
\nExpectation
\nAnd
\nNo need to know<\/p>\n
–John Culbertson 2008\/05\/07 at 9:43 AM<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Comment on Friends Meeting, poems, trees: I\u2019ve always been restless. I was raised in an atheist household and when I showed up at Joan and Niilo\u2019s door I didn\u2019t envision anything more in life than whatever I saw at the moment. A self-contained world I carried around with me. Everything I did, everything that came […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-niilo-health"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koponenalaska.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}